Creepy Mistakes You Might Be Making

If you’re new here, my name is Fritz Johnson (aka FritzTheDev). I write & make videos for young men who - like me - live at the corner of ambitious & weird.

More than 500k people follow me between Instagram & my other platforms - and if you enjoy my newsletter, I’d encourage you to become one of them.

In This Issue Of My Newsletter:

• “Rizzing a girl up” can be risky - especially for unusual men like me.

• However, it’s still a worthwhile thing to do - and to be able to do!

• You can mitigate the risk by avoiding certain “weird” behaviors.

• I’ve been putting together a list of mistakes NOT to make when dating.

• Together, we’ll explore the first element in that list of errors.

By trying to "rizz up" a girl, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection and emotional harm. You don't always know whether a girl - particularly a stranger - will find you appealing, and it will probably hurt your feelings if she doesn't.

I regret to inform you that this is basically "part of the deal" for guys - especially if your social awareness isn't great.

You won't always know if that cute stranger is into you before you try to rizz her up. Putting yourself out there to be judged is part of being a guy, but so is being brave enough to try regardless.

But bravery & the stomach for rejection isn't enough to make this a worthy chance to take, because your reputation and your social network are at risk as well!

If you're a socially-challenged guy trying to figure out how to date, you don't just risk being rejected by a specific woman, you're at risk of being shunned by a group or community of people.

What’s worse? The internet makes this even more of a risk because your reputation follows you far more doggedly than it once could.

Nobody likes being made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and most communities (think friend groups and professional networks) have social mechanisms to exclude people who don't respect that desire. Put into other words, they’ll find a way to kick out creepy men who scare the … uh …. women.

I would know, because I’ve been one of those creepy men. I have - in the past - been excluded and ignored from groups because I made women afraid.

It’s not fun to be that creepy guy that nobody wants to associate with, but it’s important to remember that you are probably not a victim. “Creep” is a label that someone typically has to earn with the choices they make.

If you’re there, you probably (hopefully?) meant well, but you committed some series of offenses that upset, offended, or weirded-out people around you and turned yourself into a social outcast. Sorry. It sucks. I’ve been there.

This is such an easy sort of mistake to make if you’re neurodivergent - but while it may not be “your fault” that you missed an important social nuance or made a peer afraid, it is something you are responsible for.

Weird people (like you & I) do not get a free pass to impose discomfort & fear on people just because our brains are kinda ****ed up. Read that again.

Not all social mis-steps are created equal, though…

I’ve been putting together a list of particularly painful mistakes you can make that will ruin your chances of building friendships, expanding your social circle, or finding yourself a lover.

I’ll be talking about them in no particular order on this newsletter - starting with this one.

“Publicly” Asking A Girl Out

If you’ve ever seen a “teen movie” where a food fight takes place and wondered “does this actually happen?”… The answer rounds to “no”. It’s just a funny idea cooked up by some film director or screenwriter that caught on.

Similarly, Hollywood gets a lot “wrong” about how the dating experience plays out in real life. The point of a movie isn’t to reflect reality, it’s to appeal to fantasy - and getting the two confused is an easy way to embarrass yourself.

That scene in a high school movie where a grand romantic gesture in front of the whole school and wins over the girl? It’s as real as General Grievous.

Once upon a time - nearly a decade ago - i was on a cruise ship. There was a girl aboard who I thought was really wonderful... We’d been hanging out as part of a group of the young adults on the ship, and I was absolutely smitten.