Creepy Mistakes You Might Be Making

In This Post:

• “Rizzing a girl up” can be a risky bet - especially for weird / autistic men.

• However, it’s still a worthwhile thing to do… and to be able to do!

• You can mitigate the risk by avoiding certain “weird” behaviors.

• We dive into one of the most common mistakes I & others have made.

By trying to "rizz up" a girl, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection and emotional harm. You don't always know whether a girl - particularly a stranger - will find you appealing, and it will probably hurt your feelings if she doesn't.

I regret to inform you that this is basically "part of the deal" for guys - especially if your social awareness skills aren’t that great.

You won't always know if that cute stranger is into you before you try to rizz her up. Putting yourself out there to be judged is a scary part of being a man, but so is being brave enough to try regardless.

But bravery & the stomach for rejection isn't enough to make this a worthy chance to take, because your reputation and your social network are at risk as well!

If you're a socially-challenged guy trying to figure out how to date, you don't just risk being rejected by a specific woman, you're at risk of being shunned by a group or community of people.

What’s worse? The internet makes this even more of a risk because your reputation follows you far more doggedly than it could in - say - the 1960’s.

Nobody likes being made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and most communities (think friend groups and professional networks) have social mechanisms to exclude people who don't respect that desire. Put into other words, they’ll find a way to kick out creepy men who scare the … uh …. women. So how can you avoid this unfortunate fate?

Look, I’ve been one of those creepy men. I have - in the past - been excluded and ignored from groups because I made women afraid.

It’s not a fun place to be, but it’s important to remember that you are probably not a victim. “Creep” is a label that someone typically has to earn with the choices they make.

If you’re there, you probably (hopefully?) meant well, but you committed some series of offenses that upset, offended, or weirded-out people around you and turned yourself into a social outcast. Sorry. It sucks. I’ve been there.

This is such an easy sort of mistake to make if you’re neurodivergent - but while it may not be “your fault” that you missed an important social nuance or made a peer afraid, it is something that you are responsible for avoiding.

Weird people (like you & I) do not get a free pass to impose discomfort & fear on people just because our brains are kinda ****ed up. Read that again.

Not all social mis-steps are created equal, though…

I’ve been working on a list of particularly bad mistakes you can make that can ruin your chances of building friendships, expanding your social circle, or finding a lover. One of the big ones is this:

“Publicly” Asking A Girl Out

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